I just don't have any control over many of the challenges life's currently throwing my way right now. I can't MAKE someone hire me. I can't snap my fingers and suddenly have certain personal issues resolved. I can't just say what I want to have happen out loud and have it happen.
No, there are quite a few things right now that I seriously lack any control over. Most days I find myself dwelling on this inability to conjure the outcomes I find satisfying. I get lost sometimes and really bogged down and I start to feel like I should give up on all fronts-Surrender and settle. And that's a really crappy feeling to live with, and it makes for a really sad existence. So instead of constantly agonizing over what I CAN'T control, I should spend more time thinking about what I CAN control.
#1: I have control of my attitude.
-That's right. I have the ability to control how I face/handle/and react to said challenges. I know I'll have my crazy days, where I'm an emotional basket case or where fear is winning me over, but I also know that I have the strength inside me to overcome all of that and make positive choices. I control my positivity and my negativity. I control the person I want to be. My experiences-even the negative ones- help shape who I am, but they do not define me, and they don't determine my worth/importance/etc. I am the one who controls what I do with what I learn from those experiences-good or bad. I control the love I have for myself and how I see myself.
#2: I have control of my body.
- I've been going through some hard times. I'm struggling a lot-emotionally, financially, and spiritually. I have days where I take out an entire pint of Ben and Jerry's-just because I can. But I know that's the wrong way to handle stress on a daily basis, so I issue some self control. I have control over what I eat, whether or not I exercise, and how I treat my body. I know what it's like to hit rock bottom physically, and I don't want to go back there. I have control over whether or not I wake up and spend the day chowing down, or being active. I can control my body, my looks (to an extent), and how I feel in my own skin. I've been blessed with good health. I don't have any debilitating disorders-I'm more than capable of getting my butt out of bed each day and making an effort. I am alive and well-I have good health-I can control whether or not I squander it.
#3: I control my actions.
-I can control whether or not I try. I can't guarantee myself success. But I can try. I can make a call, send and email, work really hard and try. I can spend everyday learning and trying to improve my skills. I can chase an opportunity and if it gets away then that's alright-at least I tried. I can choose to spend an entire day laying in bed, feeling sorry for myself-OR I can choose to volunteer my time, learn something new, or help someone. I can choose to do this. The chances are there, I can choose to take them.
-Life really is what you make it. I'm not a person who gets out of bed every single day with a gung-ho attitude. But I have to let myself be OK with that. Life is what you make it-but it's also really hard. I know I'll have really terrible days, where I will feel like I got hit by a mac truck and all seems lost and I know I'll have really great ones, days so great that I won't want them to end. I can't control how many times I'll get hit by the truck, but I have plenty of control over whether or not I get back up every time.