Then it starts to thunder, sprinkle, lightning. So I think "Great...matches my mood.." So what do I do? I want to lay down. Curl up in my purple blanket and veg on netfilx, only dreaming of doing the things I so badly want to do. Or- I could get up-and run in the rain.
I chose option B- and had a short (running is pretty hard on my bad hip) but exhilarating jog.. And I swear on my life, working up a good sweat, is really the best medicine for combating the darkness, the stress, the depression. Exercise saved my life once, and it continues to pick me up when I am feeling down.
I am luckier than most. I have a good life, hell- I"m alive. I'm capable of trying anything I want to try. I'm free to give things a go and chase a dream but if they don't work out, at least I tried. I have the ability to appreciate what I have, and what's going well-instead of focusing on everything that's going wrong.
I won't let what's wrong shut me up or close me down. I've only been given this one life, and while it's not always a happy one, it's mine. Some things are really S*** for me right now, but some things, MOST things, are amazing-and those are the things/people/dreams worth getting up for.
It's 1:11 and none of my issues are anywhere near solved- but I feel better. I feel healthy. I feel strong. I feel like there isn't anything I can't handle.
I got up.